Not Everything Has to Be Meaningful
不是所有事情都要有意義
By Brad Stulberg
In 2017， I was blindsided by the sudden onset of obsessive-compulsive disorder and secondary depression. It was a terrifying and disorienting ordeal. I had always been— and to a large extent， still am— an optimistic， growth-oriented and meaning-seeking person. Part of what I found so confounding about the experience was how utterly meaningless it felt.
2017年，我的強迫癥和繼發性抑郁癥突然發作，讓我措手不及。那是段煎熬的日子，讓人惶恐不安，迷失方向。其實一直以來，我都很樂觀，我是個以成長為導向，追求意義感的人——而且在很大程度上現在仍是如此。可這段經歷讓我感到十分不解，其中一部分原因就是，它居然如此地毫無意義。
Four months into my recovery， I shared my concerns with my therapist.“Why does what you are experiencing right now need to have some greater purpose?“ she asked me.“Not everything has to be meaningful and you don't have to grow from it. Why can't it just suck， at least for the time being?“
在康復治療進行到第四個月時，我向我的心理醫生表達了這個擔憂。“為什么你現在所經歷的事情需要有很大的意義？”她問我?！安皇撬惺虑槎家幸饬x，你也不一定要從中獲得成長。為什么事情就不能很糟糕，至少接受它暫時就是如此呢？”
A large body of psychology research shows that constructs such as growth mind-set， gratitude and construing meaning out of struggle can promote well-being. However， there are times when what you are going through is so painful， vexing and void of purpose that trying to adhere to these constructs hinders， rather than helps， your healing.
大量心理學研究表明，一些思考方式比如成長型思維、懂得感激、從掙扎中領悟意義等等可以提升人的幸福感?？捎袝r候，你正在遭受的一切令你如此痛苦不堪、憂愁煩悶、空洞迷茫，努力去堅持這些概念只會阻礙而非幫助你康復。
As I found， sometimes simply focusing on showing up and getting through is more than enough. That's not to say we ought to wallow in despair or become nihilistic. Pain and suffering are often followed by meaning， but they have to arrive on their own schedule. In other words， when you are in the thick of pain or struggle， meaning can feel elusive， and trying to force it usually backfires. But with time and distance， meaning often emerges， even when you least expect it.
就像我體悟到的那樣，有時在痛苦面前，你僅僅只需要專注于出現在那，然后捱過去，就足夠了。這并不是說我們應該沉溺在絕望之中，或者走向虛無主義。痛苦和磨難往往伴隨著意義，但它們的浮現自有其安排。換句話說，當你處在深深的痛苦或掙扎之中時，意義會讓你感到難以捉摸，而試圖強求，通常會適得其反。但隨著時間的流逝，距離的拉遠，它的意義多半會浮現，甚至是在你最意想不到的時候。
It seems then， that the most important thing to do when in the midst of a life upheaval is to release yourself from any expectations altogether. Be patient and be kind to yourself. Seek help and social support. Do what you can to hold onto the fact that what feels like forever now probably won't in the future. If you find immediate meaning and growth in your experience， that's great. But if not， that's OK， too.
這樣看來，在人生劇變之際，最重要的事情似乎就是把自己從一切期待中解脫出來。要有耐心，要善待自己。要去尋求幫助和社會支持。盡你所能地認定這樣一個事實：現在感覺永遠都過不去了的那些事情，將來可能都會過去。如果你在這段經歷中很快找到了意義和成長，那很好。但如果沒有，也沒關系。