MEANWHILE the desire to express myself grew. The few signs I used became less and less adequate, and my failures to make myself understood were invariably followed by outbursts of passion. I felt as if invisible hands were holding me, and I made frantic efforts to free myself. I struggled-not that struggling helped matters, but the spirit of resistance was strong within me; I generally broke down in tears and physical exhaustion. If my mother happened to be near I crept into her arms, too miserable even to remember the cause of the tempest. After awhile the need of some means of communication became so urgent that these outbursts occurred daily, sometimes hourly.

My parents were deeply grieved and perplexed. We lived a long way from any school for the blind or the deaf, and it seemed unlikely that any one would come to such an out- of- the- way place as Tuscumbia to teach a child who was both deaf and blind. Indeed, my friends and relatives sometimes doubted whether I could be taught. My mother's only ray of hope came from Dickens's“American Notes”. She had read his account of Laura Bridgman, and remembered vaguely that she was deaf and blind, yet had been educated. But she also remembered with a hopeless pang that Dr. Howe, who had discovered the way to teach the deaf and blind, had been dead many years. His methods had probably died with him; and if they had not, how was a little girl in a far-off town in Alabama to receive the benefit of them?

When I was about six years old, my father heard of an eminent oculist in Baltimore, who had been successful in many cases that had seemed hopeless. My parents at once determined to take me to Baltimore to see if anything could be done for my eyes.

The journey, which I remember well, was very pleasant. I made friends with many people on the train. One lady gave me a box of shells. My father made holes in these so that I could string them, and for a long time they kept me happy and contented. The conductor, too, was kind. Often when he went his rounds I clung to his coat tails while he collected and punched the tickets. His punch, with which he let me play, was a delightful toy. Curled up in a corner of the seat I amused myself for hours making funny little holes in bits of cardboard.

My aunt made me a big doll out of towels. It was the most comical, shapeless thing, this improvised doll, with no nose,mouth, ears or eyes- nothing that even the imagination of a child could convert into a face. Curiously enough, the absence of eyes struck me more than all the other defects put together. I pointed this out to everybody with provoking persistency, but no one seemed equal to the task of providing the doll with eyes. A bright idea, however, shot into my mind, and the problem was solved. I tumbled off the seat and searched under it until I found my aunt's cape, which was trimmed with large beads. I pulled two beads off and indicated to her that I wanted her to sew them on doll. She raised my hand to her eyes in a questioning way, and I nodded energetically. The beads were sewed in the right place and I could not contain myself for joy; but immediately I lost all interest in the doll. During the whole trip I did not have one fit of temper, there were so many things to keep my mind and fingers busy.

When we arrived in Baltimore, Dr. Chisholm received us kindly:but he could do nothing. He said, however, that I could be educated, and advised my father to consult Dr. Alexander Graham Bell, of Washington, who would be able to give him information about schools and teachers of deaf or blind children. Acting on the doctor's advice, we went immediately to Washington to see Dr. Bell, my father with a sad heart and many misgivings, I wholly unconscious of his anguish, finding pleasure in the excitement of moving from place to place.

Child as I was, I at once felt the tenderness and sympathy which endeared Dr. Bell to so many hearts, as his wonderful achievements enlist their admiration. He held me on his knee while I examined his watch, and he made it strike for me. He understood my signs, and I knew it and loved him at once. But I did not dream that that interview would be the door through which I should pass from darkness into light, from isolation to friendship, companionship, knowledge, love.

Dr. Bell advised my father to write to Mr. Anagnos, director of the Perkins Institution in Boston, the scene of Dr. Howe's great labours for the blind, and ask him if he had a teacher competent to begin my education. This my father did at once, and in a few weeks there came a kind letter from Mr. Anagnos with the comforting assurance that a teacher had been found. This was in the summer of 1886. But Miss Sullivan did not arrive until the following March.

Thus I came up out of Egypt and stood before Sinai, and a power divine touched my spirit and gave it sight, so that I beheld many wonders. And from the sacred mountain I heard a voice which said,“Knowledge is love and light and vision.”

隨著年齡的增長，希望表達我自己思想情感的愿望開始增加。我使用的那幾種單調的手勢也漸漸顯得少而不夠用了。每當別人無法理解我的手語的意思時，我都會大發脾氣。我感覺仿佛有許多看不見的手緊緊地抓著我，我拼命掙扎，想獲得自由。我拼命抗爭，烈火在體內燃燒，可是卻無法表達出來，我只能是瘋狂地廝打，直至精疲力竭。如果母親正好在旁邊，我就會一頭撲在她懷中，傷心欲絕，以至于為什么發脾氣都忘了。過了一段時間，由于我想表達思想的愿望變得越發強烈，以至于每天都要發脾氣，有時甚至每小時就發一次火。

我的父母處于極度痛苦之中，然而卻又毫無辦法。我們居住的地方離任何一所聾啞學校都很遠，而且好像不會有誰愿意到塔斯坎比亞鎮這樣偏僻的地方來教一個盲聾啞孩子。事實上，當時大家都懷疑我是否還能接受教育。然而，母親從狄更斯的《美國人札記》中看到了一線希望。她讀過狄更斯書中提到的盲聾啞少女勞拉·布里奇曼，勞拉在豪博士的教導下，學有所成。然而，當得知這位發明盲聾人教育方法的豪博士已經去世許多年，他的方法也許已經隨著他的去世而失傳時，母親苦惱極了。或者即使這些方法沒有失傳，又如何讓我這樣一個住在亞拉巴馬州這個偏遠小鎮的小女孩從中受益呢？

在我大約6歲時，父親聽說巴爾的摩有一位著名的眼科大夫，他已經成功地治好了幾個似乎沒有希望治好的盲人。我的父母立即決定帶我去巴爾的摩，看看是否有什么辦法治我的眼睛。

這次旅行非常愉快，我至今依然記得非常清楚。我在火車上交了許多朋友。一位女士送了我一盒貝殼，父親把這些貝殼都鉆了孔，好讓我用線一個一個地將它們串起來，有很長一段時間，這些貝殼給我帶來了極大的快樂和滿足。列車員也很和善，每次他來例行檢查或檢票時，我就拉著他的衣角。他會讓我玩他檢票的剪子，這可是一個很好的玩具。我會趴在座位的一角，把一些零碎的卡片打些小孔，玩上好幾個小時。

我姑媽用毛巾給我做了一個大娃娃，可它不過是一個非常滑稽的、沒有形狀的玩意兒，既沒有鼻子和嘴巴，也沒有耳朵和眼睛。即使孩子最豐富的想象力，也說不出那張臉是個什么樣子。極具諷刺意味的是，洋娃娃沒有眼睛對我來說比其他任何缺陷加在一起的打擊還要大。我給每個人指出了這一點，堅持讓大家想辦法，但最終還是沒有人能給洋娃娃安上眼睛。這時，一個聰明的想法在我大腦中閃現，這個問題立即得到了解決。我溜下座位，找到姑媽的披肩，這件披肩上綴著一些大珠子。我扯下兩顆珠子，示意姑媽，想讓她縫在洋娃娃的臉上。姑媽以疑問的方式牽著我的手去摸她的眼睛，我使勁地點點頭。她將珠子縫在了洋娃娃合適的地方，我真有說不出來的高興。但沒過多久，我對洋娃娃就失去了興趣。在整個旅途中，有如此多的吸引我的事情，我的大腦和手指一直忙個不停，所以一次脾氣也沒有發。

我們到達巴爾的摩之后，齊夏姆醫生熱情地接待了我們，但是他也沒有辦法。不過他說我可以接受教育，并建議我父親帶我去華盛頓向亞歷山大·格雷厄姆·貝爾博士咨詢，也許他會給我們提供有關聾啞兒童學校以及老師的相關信息。根據齊夏姆醫生的建議，我們立刻趕到華盛頓去看望貝爾博士。一路上，父親心情沉重，顧慮重重，而我對他的痛苦卻毫無覺察，反而在從一個地方奔波到另一個地方的旅行中找到了樂趣。

雖然我當時還是個孩子，但是我一接觸貝爾博士，就感受到了他的親切和仁愛，同時也理解了他為什么能贏得那么多人的喜愛和尊敬。他把我抱在膝上，讓我玩他的表。他讓手表的鬧鈴響起來，好讓我感覺到表的震動。博士懂得我的手勢，我也能明白他的意思，并立刻喜歡上了他。當時我并沒有意識到，這次見面將會成為我人生的轉折點，使我從此由黑暗走向光明，由孤獨走向友情、集體、智慧和愛。

貝爾博士建議父親寫信給安納格羅斯先生，他是波士頓帕金斯學校的校長，請他為我找一位啟蒙老師。帕金斯學校是《美國人札記》中豪博士為盲聾啞人孜孜不倦工作的地方。父親立刻寫了信，幾個星期后我們就收到了安納格羅斯先生一封熱情的回信，他在信中安慰式地保證說已經找到老師了。這是1886年夏天的事，但莎莉文老師直到第二年3月才來到我們家。

就這樣，我就像摩西走出了埃及，站在了西奈山的面前，感受到一種奇妙而難以言喻的力量涌遍我的全身，我眼前展現出無數奇景。從這座圣山上我聽到一個聲音這樣說：“知識給人以愛，給人以光明，給人以智慧。”