心靈的語言 A Simple Way to Make a Good First Impression

戴爾·卡耐基/Dale Carnegie

At a dinner party in New York, one of the guests, a woman who had inherited money, was eager to make a pleasing impression on everyone. She had squandered a modest fortune on sables, diamonds and pearls. But she hadn't done anything whatever about her face. It radiated sourness and selfishness. She didn't realize what everyone knows: namely, that the expression one wears on one's face is far more important than the clothes one wears on one's back.

Charles Schwab told me his smile had been worth a million dollars. And he was probably understating the truth. For Schwab's personality, his charms, his ability to make people like him, were almost wholly responsible for his extraordinary success; and one of the most delightful factors in his personality was his captivating smile.

Actions speak louder than words, and a smile says , “I like you, you make me happy. I am glad to see you.”That is why dogs make such a hit. They are so glad to see us that they almost jump out of their skins. So, naturally, we are glad to see them.

A baby's smile has the same effect. Have you ever been in a doctor's waiting room and looked around at all the glum faces waiting impatiently to be seen? Dr.Stephen K. Sproul, a veterinarian in Raytown, Missouri, told of a typical spring day when his waiting room was full of clients waiting to have their pets inoculated. No one was talking to anyone else, and all were probably thinking of a dozen other things they would rather be doing than“wasting time”sitting in that office. He told one of our classes:

“There were six or seven clients waiting when a young woman came in with a nine-month-old baby and a kitten. As luck would have it, she sat down next to a gentleman who was more than a little distraught about the long wait for service. The next thing he knew, the baby just looked up at him with that great big smile that is so characteristic of babies. What did that gentleman do?

“Just what you and I would do, of course; he smiled back at the baby. Soon he struck up a conversation with the woman about her baby and his grandchildren, and soon the entire reception room joined in, and the boredom and tension were converted into a pleasant and enjoyable experience.”

An insincere grin? That doesn't fool anybody. We know it is mechanical and we resent it. I am talking about a real smile, a heartwarming smile, a smile that comes from within, the kind of smile that will bring a good price in the marketplace.

Professor James V. McConnell, a psychologist at the University of Michigan, expressed his feelings about a smile. “People who

smile,”he said , “tend to manage, teach and sell more effectively, and to raise happier children. There's far more information in a smile than a frown. That's why encouragement is a much more effective teaching device than punishment.”

The employment manager of a large New York department store told me she would rather hire a sales clerk who hadn't finished grade school, if he or she has a pleasant smile, than to hire a doctor of philosophy with a somber face.

The effect of a smile is powerful—even when it is unseen. Telephone companies throughout the United States have a program called “phone power”which is offered to employees who use the telephone for selling their services or products. In this program they suggest that you smile when talking on the phone. Your “smile”comes through in your voice.

The chairman of the board of directors of one of the largest rubber companies “In the United States told me that, according to his observations, people rarely succeed at anything unless they have fun doing it. This industrial leader doesn't put much faith in the old adage that hard work alone is the magic key that will unlock the door to our desires , “I have known people,”he said, “The one who succeeded because they had a rip-roaring good time conducting their business. Later, I saw those people change as the fun became work. The business had grown dull, they lost all joy in it, and they failed.”

You must have a good time meeting people if you expect them to have a good time meeting you.

在紐約舉行的一個宴會上，有一位得到大筆遺產的女賓客迫切想要給每一個人留下一個好印象。她不惜重金買來貂皮、鉆石和珍珠，但是在自己的臉上卻沒有下任何工夫—— 一臉的尖酸刻薄、自私自利。她沒有意識到一個眾所周知的道理：一個人的面部表情要比身上的衣服重要得多。

史考伯對我說，他的笑容值一百萬美元，他也許是在有意淡化這一事實。史考伯的個性和魅力以及讓人喜歡他的能力幾乎是他取得非凡成就的全部原因所在。并且他個性中最令人愉快的因素之一就是他那迷人的微笑。

行動比語言更有力。一個微笑表達的是：“我喜歡你，你讓我感到很開心，我非常高興見到你。”這就是小狗得寵的原因。小狗見到我們會表現出欣喜若狂的高興勁兒，所以，我們見到小狗自然也感覺很開心。

嬰兒的微笑也有同樣的效果。你曾經在醫生的候診室里留意過那些等待看病的陰郁面孔嗎？密蘇里州雷頓市的獸醫史蒂芬·史波爾告訴過我一件事：在某年的一個春天，他的候診室里排滿了前來給寵物接種疫苗的人，沒有人閑聊，他們大概都在想著其他事情，而不是待在候診室里“浪費時間”。他對我說：“有六七個人在等著給他們的寵物接種疫苗時，一個年輕女人帶著一個九個月大的嬰兒和一只小貓走進來。事有巧合，她坐在已經等得有些發狂了的男人旁邊。當他扭過頭時，嬰兒正用那天真無邪的笑容注視著他。那個男人會做什么呢？”

“當然，他和你我的反應一樣，扭過頭去朝著嬰兒微笑。很快他就和那個女人攀談起來，聊起了她的孩子和他自己的孫子。不多一會兒，整個候診室的人都參與了進來，厭倦和緊張變成了快樂和享受。”

那虛假的笑容呢？那是不可能欺騙任何人的。我們都知道那種笑是機械的，我們厭惡它。我所要談的是真誠的、暖人心房的、發自內心的微笑，它是人際關系中的無價之寶。

密歇根大學的心理學家詹姆斯·麥克奈爾教授表達了他對微笑的看法：“面帶微笑的人們會在管理、教學和營銷方面卓有成效，也會培養出心情愉悅的孩子。微笑比蹙眉能更好地傳達信息。這就是為什么在教育上獎勵要比懲罰更有效的原因。”

一位紐約超市的人事經理對我說，她寧愿聘用一個沒有學歷但有著舒適微笑的人，也不愿聘用一個滿面冰霜的哲學博士。

微笑的力量是巨大的——即使它是無形的。遍布全美的電話公司有一個叫“電話力量”的項目，就是要求員工用電話來銷售他們的服務和產品。在此項目中，公司建議員工在打電話時要面帶微笑。你的“微笑”會通過你的聲音傳遞給客戶。

美國一家大型橡膠公司的董事長告訴我，他通過觀察發現，除非對自己所做的事有興趣，否則人們很難獲得成功。這位商業巨頭對于“努力是通向成功之門的唯一鑰匙”這句古語并不贊同。他說：“我所認識的一些人，他們的成功是因為做了自己感興趣的工作。后來，他們對工作漸漸沒了興趣，于是生意蕭條了，最終失敗了。”

如果你希望他人在見到你時心情是愉悅的，那你也必須在見到他們時心情是愉悅的。

詞匯筆記

squander [?skw?nd?] v. 浪費；漂泊；驅散

例 He squandered a lot of time on computer games.

他在電腦游戲上浪費了很多時間。

extraordinary [ik?str?:d?n?ri] adj. 特別的；非凡的；離奇的

例 She needed extraordinary courage to hold this poise.

她需要非凡的勇氣來保持這種平衡。

inoculate [i?n?kjuleit] v. 接種；嫁接；灌輸

例 A corps of doctors arrived to inoculate the recruits.

一隊醫生來給新兵打防疫針。

conversation [?k?nv??sei??n] n. 會話；交談；社交

例 Draw up a chair, and join the conversation.

拉把椅子過來，加入我們的談話。

小試身手

一個人的面部表情要比他身上的衣服重要得多。

譯_______________

我所認識的一些人，他們的成功是因為做了自己感興趣的工作。

譯_______________

如果你希望他人在見到你時心情是愉悅的，那你也必須在見到他們時心情是愉悅的。

譯_______________

短語家族

Soon he struck up a conversation with the woman about her baby and his grandchildren……

strike up：開始演奏；使開始；建立起

造_______________

In this program they suggest that you smile when talking on the phone．

talk on the phone：在電話中交談；打電話；講電話

造_______________