02 She Left Her Shoes　愛的遺鞋

She left her shoes;she took everything else-her toothbrush, her clothes, and even that stupid little silver vase on the table we kept candy in, just dumped it out on the table and took the vase. The tiny apartment we shared seemed different now, her stuff was gone, and it wasn't much really, although now the room seemed like a jigsaw puzzle with a few pieces missing, incomplete.The closet seemed empty too;most of it was her stuff anyway.But there they were at the bottom, piled up like they usually were, every single one of them.Why did she leave her shoes?She couldn't have forgotten them, I knew too well that she took great pride in her shoe collection.But there they still were, right down to her favorite pair of sandals.They were black with a design etched into the wide band that stretched across the top of them, the soles scuffed and worn;a delicate imprint of where her toes rested was visible in the soft fabric.

It seemed funny to me, she walked out of my life without her shoes, was that irony, or was I thinking ofsomething else?In a way I was glad they were still here-she would have to come back for them, right?I mean how could she go on with the rest of her life without her shoes?But she would never come back. I know she wouldn't;she would rather walk barefoot over glass than have to see me again.But Christ she left all of her shoes！All of them, every sneaker, boot and sandal, every high heel and clog, every flip-flop…What should I do?Should I leave them here, or bag them up and throw them in the trash?Should I look at them every morning when I get dressed and wonder why she left them?She knew it, she knew what she was doing.I can’t throw them out for fear she may return for them someday.I can’t be rid of myself of her completely with all her shoes still in my life, can’t dispose of them or the person that walked in them.

A deep footprint on my heart, I can't sweep her shoes away for they've left. All I can do is staring at them and wondering, staring at their laces and strapping their buttons and tread.They still connect me to her though, in some distant bizarre way they do.I can remember the good times we had, what pair she was wearing at that moment in time.They are hers and no else's;she wore down the heels, and she scuffed their sides;it's her fragile footprint imbedded on the insole. I sat on the floor next to them and wondered how many places had she gone while wearing these shoes, how many miles she walked in them, and what pair was she wearing when she decided to leave me?I picked up a high heel she often wore and absently smelt it.It was not disgusting I thought.It was just the last tangible link I have to her;the last bit of reality I have of her.She left her shoes;she took everything else, except her shoes.They remain at the bottom of my closet, a shrine to her memory.

她把鞋子留在了這里，其他的統統都帶走了，包括她的牙刷、她的衣服，甚至我們擺放在桌上裝糖果的銀色小瓶子。她直接把糖果倒在了桌上，然后把瓶子拿走了。這個二人世界的小蝸居看上去已經和以前大不一樣了，雖然原本屬于她的東西不是特別多，可都給搬得干干凈凈，這間房子現在就如同一幅殘缺的拼圖，不再完整。衣柜也變得空空如也，里面的東西大多都是她的。然而就在柜子的底層，也和往常一樣堆積在那里，她的鞋子卻留了下來，一只也不少。她為什么要把鞋子留下來呢？絕對不可能是忘了拿。我知道她向來很寶貝她收藏的鞋子。可是，這些鞋子真的就躺在那里，還包括那雙黑色的涼鞋，她摯愛的涼鞋。這雙鞋有著寬寬的鞋面，上面還鏤刻有花紋，鞋底已經磨損破舊，她的腳趾印還依稀可見于鞋內軟皮上。

這可真讓我百思不得其解，她既然選擇離開我，卻又不帶走她的鞋？這是一種諷刺嗎？還是我想歪了？從某種角度說，我又暗自高興——鞋子既然被留了下來，那么她總有一天會回來拿的，對嗎？我是說沒了這些鞋子，她以后日子怎么過啊？可是，她不會再回來了。我知道她不會的，她寧愿光腳踩玻璃也不愿意回來再看見我的。可是，老天！她怎么就把鞋子給留下來了呢？所有的鞋，包括全部的球鞋、靴子、涼鞋、高跟鞋、木屐、人字拖……我該怎么辦啊？任它們放在這兒，還是打包扔掉呢？我是不是每天打開衣柜就要看見它們，然后冥思苦想她留下鞋子的目的呢？她一定是有意這樣做的，她很清楚自己在做什么。這些鞋子我不能扔，因為我怕有一天她會回來拿。她的鞋就這樣留在我生命里，徹底擺脫對她的思念是不可能的，無論是鞋子還是它們的主人我都無法舍棄。

她的鞋子在我心中留下的深印實在難以抹去，我只能癡癡地看著她的鞋，看著那些鞋帶，然后傻傻地把鞋扣系好。這些鞋子仍然將我和她聯結在一起，雖然方式是那樣滑稽可笑。我能記住和她在一起的快樂時光，她在哪時哪刻穿著哪雙鞋子。鞋子是她的，不是別人的。鞋跟磨短了，鞋邊磨破了，鞋內是她纖纖的足印。我席地坐在她的鞋子旁邊，想著她穿著這些鞋子到過多少地方？走了多少的路？她最后下定決心要離開我時穿的又是哪雙鞋呢？我拿起一只她常穿的高跟鞋，心不在焉地嗅了一下，我一點也不覺得惡心，因為屬于她而實實在在能讓我擁有的就只剩這氣息了，這也是除了回憶以外她留給我的最后一絲真實存在。她把鞋子遺留在這兒，其余一切都帶走了。它們躺在衣柜的底層，那個屬于她的回憶的神圣角落。

單詞解析 Word Analysis

stupid[?stu?p?d]adj.愚蠢的；遲鈍的；乏味的；眩暈的，昏迷不醒的 n.<口>傻子，笨蛋

例　I’II never do anything so stupid again.

我再也不會做這種傻事了。

silver[?s?lv?（r）]n.銀，銀器，銀幣

例　He and HeIen ceIebrated their siIver wedding Iast year.

他和海倫去年慶祝了他們的銀婚。

dump[d?mp]v.傾倒；傾銷；丟下；擺脫；突然跌倒或落下 n.垃圾場；倉庫；無秩序地累積

例　We dumped our bags at the nearby Grand HoteI and hurried towards the market.

我們把包扔在附近的格蘭德酒店后就匆匆趕往集市。

jigsaw[?d??gs??]n.拼圖

例　We’ve got a new jigsaw puzzIe！

我們得到了一個新的七巧板。

sandal[?s?ndl]n.涼鞋，草帶鞋；[植]檀香木 v.使穿上涼鞋

例　Constant use had fretted sandaI strap to the breaking point.

涼鞋由于經常穿，鞋帶快磨斷了。

dispose[d??sp??z]v.處理，布置，排列；處置；決定

例　Just foId up the nappy and dispose of it in the normaI manner.

把尿布疊起來，像平常扔東西一樣扔掉即可。

strap[str?p]v.用帶捆扎；用皮帶抽打；拼命工作 n.皮帶；帶子；磨刀皮帶；鞭打

例　Nancy gripped the strap of her beach bag.

南希抓住了自己沙灘包的帶子。

flip-flop[?fl?p?flɑp]n.后滾翻，噼啪（聲）adv.連續啪啪作響地 v.使翻轉；使……突然轉變 adj.后手翻的；突然改變的

例　He has been criticized for flip-flopping on severaI key issues.

他因為在幾個關鍵問題上臨場變卦而備受批評。

imbed[?m?b?d]v.栽種（花等），埋置，把……嵌入

例　The thorn was embedded in her thumb.

荊棘扎入她大拇指里了。

tangible[?t?nd??b?l]adj.可觸知的；確實的，真實的；實際的；[法]有形的 n.有形資產；可觸知的或具體的某事物

例　There shouId be some tangibIe evidence that the economy is starting to recover.

應該有明顯跡象表明經濟開始復蘇了。

語法知識點 Grammar Points

①She couldn’t have forgotten them, I knew too well that she took great pride in her shoe collection, but there they still were, right down to her favorite pair of sandals.

這個句子中有一個結構“take great pride in”，表示“為……而感到驕傲”。同義詞組有be/feel proud of。

例　She takes great pride in her chiIdren’s success.

她為自己的孩子們取得的成功感到無比驕傲。

②All I can do is staring at them and wondering, staring at their laces and strapping their buttons and tread.

這個句子中有一個結構“stare at”，表示“盯著看”。一般表示“注視”的單詞搭配的介詞是at，如look at和glare at。句首All I can do是一個句子，來做后面is的主語。

例　She stared at me, smiIing.

她盯著我微微笑。

③……she would rather walk barefoot over glass than have to see me again.

這個句子中有一個結構“would rather do sth.than do sth.”，表示“寧愿……也不……”。同義詞組還有prefer to（do）A rather than（do）B，寧愿選A也不選B。

例　I wouId rather die than eat the food.

我寧死也不吃這些食物。

經典名句 Famous Classics

1.Sometimes affection is a shy flower that takes time to blossom.

有時愛情是朵含蓄的花，需要時間才會怒放。

2.It doesn't matter if you have a weakness.

有點缺點沒關系。

3.Happiness is too simple, so it is easily broken.

快樂太單純，所以容易破碎。

4.Life is not a drama；it is more cruel than a drama.

生活不是話劇，它比話劇殘酷得多。

5.Ignorance turned out to be the most ruthless revenge.

無視才是最狠的報復。

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