Two heads are better than one--particularly on a Barrel of Money.

LACE Among women, lace means lesson; wherefore they combine art and thrift by lessening the waist.

LACONIC Shy on words. From Eng. lack, meaning want, and connection; want of connection.

LAMP A light.

LAMPONED To be lighted on.

LARD Fat.

LARDER A fattener.

LARK A short, sweet spree enjoyed by night hawks. Also, an early rising singing-bird. (Dist. bet. "out on a lark," and "up with the lark," an impossible combination).

LASSIE One of the weaker sex.

LASSITUDE Slightly weaker.

LAUD Praise for the Almighty.

LAUDANUM Prays for himself--after taking.

LAUNDRY A place where clothes are mangled.

LAUGH A peculiar contortion of the human countenance, voluntary or involuntary, super-induced by a concatenation of external circumstances, seen or heard, of a ridiculous, ludicrous, jocose, mirthful, funny, facetious or fanciful nature and accompanied by a cackle, chuckle, chortle, cachinnation, giggle, gurgle, guffaw or roar.

LAWYER One who defends your estate against an enemy, in order to appropriate it to himself.

LECTURE An entertainment at which it costs but little to look intelligent.

LEGISLATURE From Lat. lego, to bring together, and latro, to bark or bluster; possibly from lex, law, and latens, unknown. Hence, a company of men brought together to bluster, or a company of law makers who know nothing about law.

LEISURE From Eng., lazy, and sure; assured laziness.

LENT A Church fast that is slow to go; or something loaned which is slow to come back.

LIE A very poor substitute for the truth but the only one discovered up to date.

LIMBURGER A native of Germany strong enough to do housework; well recommended for cleaning out the dining-room.

LIBRARY From Fr. libre, meaning free, and proper name ANDY.

Something free from Andy Carnegie.

LINKS Found in sausages and golf courses, and both full of hazards.

LION A cruel beast who never patronizes the barber and is always bearded in his den, yet will furnish a close shave if you get near enough.

LOBSTER The edible lobster is found off the New England Coast.

The two-legged species is found everywhere. All kinds are green, but when roasted turn a bright red. Soubrettes are very dependent on both varieties for a living; together they furnish her with food, raiment, flats, diamonds, and occasionally indigestion.

LOBSTER-NEWBURG A dish ordered at hotels by those who usually get beans at home.

LOVE A man's insane desire to become a woman's meal-ticket.

LOVER An ardent admirer who says, "Yes, dearest, I will shovel the snow of the lake so that we can go skating!" and, after marriage remarks, "What! Shovel the snow off the walk for you? Well, I should say not! I'm no chore boy."

Hell is paved with good intentions--also asbestos.